Day 2 of the Bas Congo Adventures- The river, Hee-Haws, White Witches and Suicide chickens

After the adventures of the Chutes we felt like we had done the falls, so after getting up and having a very overpriced ‘American’ breakfast,  we decided to take the long was back and have a bit of a road trip. The guide from the chutes’ son needed a lift back to Kinshasa so we brought him along too, and he turned out to be quite the guide. We drove up along the river and over the damn that supplied the hydroelectric power to the hotel.  It was a bit of a rackety bridge but we made over safely, and started driving through the countryside.

What strikes you when driving around on the dirt road is just how red the earth is, it reminded me a little of Devon in fact, swiftly followed by the utterly depressing blood diamond, but I digress- it was beautiful.

As we drove over the rackety bridge there was a military check point, 2 army guys and a guy from the hotel, who was obviously the boss. Rich(er) apparently trumps unarmed military in Congo, however they insisted we needed a guide so one of the military guys hoped in the back of the Land Cruiser and off we went again. Well, it turns out that the military guy didn’t speak a word of French, only Lingala- fat lot of use but we had the guides son who helped translate. 

The road isn’t wasn’t really a road, more earth that had been cut away by the Chinese, however it was less bumpy than it could have been so phanque.  As you drive through the villages by the side of the roads the kids scream, ‘Muuuuunnnndeeeelliiiiii’ so we asked the guides son what the Chinese are called in Lingala. Answer: Hee-Haw. Like a donkey braying. It’s actually a generic word for foreigner, but it was entertaining none the less.

We were following the river, and ended up off roading on the road, around a rather precarious corner to make it down to the river bank lined with beaches. As we turned the corner we saw a massive mud slide, exposing the purple earth , creating a red and purple striations down the 100ft cliff side.

The view was stunning, there was nothing you could see but river, fields, and giant black volcanic bounders, nothing human apart from one small wooden hut that a local family lived in.  I put the flower from my hair as a little act of puja, like I did in the Ganges, and felt very lucky indeed.

We hit the road and drove towards Kisantu, a town in Bas Congo that has a Cathedral and Botanical Gardens.  As this point we dropped off the army man, gave him a fiver and sent him on his way. He wanted copies of the photos I had taken, so asked him if he had an email address? nope. Do you know anyone with an email address? Nope. Well then there’s not much I can do – he wasn’t best pleased. Shame.

So I was sat in the front seat, being the photowhore that I usually am and saw a cute little boy pushing his bike and took a picture, H who was driving slowed down a bit so I could get a better shot, and the little boy and his friend FREAKED OUT. They dropped all their stuff, including the bike and ran.

We scared the shit out of them, if you excuse my french, apparently some people here still believe that taking pictures takes part of your soul. A bunch of white people in a massive white car, apparently I look like a white witch. I tried to call out to them to say it was OK, then realised that they probably don't speak french as was just scaring them more- oops. We drove on and hoped we hadn't left them too scarred by the experience!

Now apart from the children (and sometimes grown ups) screaming mundelli, the other feature of the little village chickens. I’m pretty sure that the ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ joke started in Congo, as soon as they saw the car coming they would run into the road. This caused several near misses, and even some flying feathers, it became the joke of the trip. SUICIDE CHICKEN! We’d all scream out (including the guides son) when one would run into the road.  

Other highlights of the drive include: dancing driving on mud Top Gear style, more insane Congolese people piled high on top of cars, lorries and vans. Watching 2 whole villages walking to watch their local warrior fight the other, all chalked up.